This is my Journal! Look below for my journal posts!
I suppose this is where it begins.
I’ve kept this tiny Neocities spot idle for ages. Lately, it stayed bare, you know? Just a header here, some sketchy drafts there, along with files rotting in an unshared folder. The truth? I built it cause my friends all had sites; seemed like staking claim on digital dirt, even when I had zero idea what to share.
Back then, I figured I'd scribble dumb drawings here, toss in scattered thoughts, or jot down spacey ramblings so I could call myself “Starkid.” I chose that tag cause it felt slick when I was little; after a while, it simply stayed. The web worked differently back then, grab an alias, treat it like a mask, cross your fingers someone found it kinda neat.
Still, cause this is the very first actual post I'm sharing here, maybe I oughta tell you who I am.
Hi there, I'm Thomas.
I don't mention that online much. Typing it feels odd, almost like sharing a secret. Yet "Starkid" no longer seems quite right. So if I'm gonna post stuff here, better to just own up to who's speaking.
Lately I’ve found myself wondering why stuff disappears when no one looks anymore. Not like some big tragedy. More just life drifting apart. Folks shift focus, websites vanish slowly, chats dry up... then suddenly it hits: those friends you stayed up with? You barely speak now. Kinda strange how change sneaks by while you’re busy living.
So this must be it, then... sort of a notebook for ideas before they fade. Not some grand project or life-changing deal. More like a shelf, really, where stuff can sit without vanishing right away.
If someone actually stumbles on this... hey. Not sure where this page’s headed, yet here I am - so maybe that’s all a start needs.
Nothing big going on, yet I wanted to jot down a few thoughts regardless.
I’ve tinkered with the site a bit. Mainly adjusting how things sit on screen so it stops looking slapped together after midnight snacks. Not sure yet what I’m aiming for here. Each time I begin writing, I hit the middle and go, “Who cares about this?” So I stash it away, acting like someday I’ll come back to fix it.
It was one of those quiet, hazy afternoons. Everything is just a bit off-kilter. Earlier, I wandered outside while the sky hung low, thick with clouds so near they seemed within arm’s reach. As I walked, memories popped up from childhood, times when I’d spot fake star patterns even under bright sunlight. That kind of make-believe doesn’t come as easy now.
I suppose my point is. I’d like to improve how I notice stuff, folks, the bits of life I once valued but kinda dropped. Perhaps this page could actually help out here. Putting thoughts into words somehow makes them stick around longer, whether anyone reads ’em or not.
I'm not after some huge tale or flashy plan. Just figuring out how to feel like me once more - maybe right here, in this small spot online.
For now, this is it. Perhaps next time there's something good to pass along.
- Thomas
I was talking to some of my friends the other day online about different things that we’ve done in the past. A few of them said that they think it's very natural and normal to regret our past actions. They said, essentially, that regret is a very human behavior, and that it is innate to everyone. It’s kind of a natural thing.
I don’t know how much I really believe that but it could help me.
- StarKid
I find this whole journal idea ridiculous.
I know that JR tried to do it a long time ago but he didn’t keep up with it that well. I guess that’s just ‘cause he’s pretty busy.
JR says that he’s busy a lot though but I never really can tell if he is. I’m sure he might be, I mean I know his father always has him doing things, and I know that he does have a lot of school work to do. I mean, he’s even asked me to help him with it before, so there’s that.
But I’m not too sure if I really trust him. Not in the sense that like, “Oh I can’t trust you with a secret” or “Oh I know that you’re a bad guy”, but more in the sense that I can’t trust him when he’s telling me something.
It seems like he is prone to lying. And JR, if you’re reading this, I’m just being honest buddy, lol. You can’t seem to tell the truth to save your life.
- Love, StarKid